Reviewed by M. Blythe
I met someone! He's a 'real man' and he's mind-blowing. He's completely monogamous, wouldn't dream of seeing anyone else besides me ‘cause I'm all the woman he'll ever need. And, he doesn't even mind it when I decide to see someone else.
Yah, that's right. Hustler's Real Man Joltin' Johnson is my new man, play toy and vibrating sex machine. And, we are smitten; I think it could be love or at least a big crush.
What can I tell you about him? He's a very big guy and I was pleasantly surprised. I'm a girl who usually likes my cocks big, but my vibrators small, but this big guy was everything he promised "for maximum performance and penetrations.” The lifelike design was satisfying and the 1.5 diameter girth was delicious.
I was afraid that the soft jel-lee faux penis was going to feel like I was humping a grapefruit—thank God I was wrong. The best part was the balls and the realistic penis quality (oh ladies, he's cut—yum).
The only negatives I found was he's hard on his 2AA batteries, but what electronic man isn't? Truth be told, he really didn't need to be a full 7.5 inches, length isn't as important as girth, anyways. And, of course, there's an audible buzzing sound, but who cares when you're having this much fun.
Because the virtually authentic balls felt so good smacking against me, and because of the earth shattering vibrations throughout the shaft I found myself trying several different positions; I even surprised myself.
As the packaging states, he's "available in two Real Man colors.” Last night, I went to bed with a White Real Man; maybe tonight I'll go get myself a Black Real Man. Equal opportunity: It's all good.
If you use a creamy lube such as Liquid Silk, your real man will come too, but only after you do.
Oddly, I got a bit turned on again during the simple cleanup process with antibacterial soap and water—it's just that he looks so real, it seemed like I was jacking the guy off! Make sure not to get the cord wet so you can avoid any electronic malfunctions.
I really like this guy. And, I swear we even snuggled afterwards: Is it disturbing to cuddle with an electronic penis? I don't care. I can't wait to take a weekend away together. HustlerRealManJoltin'Johnson
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