Reviewed by M. Napolitano
I wrinkled my nose when I saw Adam & Eve's "Heart's Delight" glass massage wand. Cold. Lifeless. This dense nonliving faux-amorous icicle was going to make me melt?
Oooh, baby. It's a hunka-hunka-burnin' love-glass, let me count the ways.
One: Design.
Heart's Delight is an A&E "Signature Toy," and a worthy John Hand-Cock indeed. It's satiny soft and smooth to the touch, seamless, and flawless as fine diamonds. Its angles are gentle, clearly inspired by the subtle curve of natural erections--and furthermore it's a realistically ample size. Plus, the massager's adorable handle is definitely sturdy enough to take reasonably firm gripping and thrusting. A very cohesive, friendly, solid-feeling toy.
Two: Package Promises
This glass slipper sticks to all its magic midnight rules, no question. All the claims listed on Heart's Delight's packaging are a totally accurate checklist. Furthermore, even though one of its promises is to warm "in minutes," I can happily say that, on penetration, I felt it warm in more like "seconds." And, speaking of warming, I'd like to mention as well that I tried the "microwave" option they describe: nice to know, but annoying in practice. My boyfriend and I find it much easier just to pass it under hot-ish water for a moment, then keep it warm in one of our fists as we leap back in bed.
Three: Versatility
That heart-shaped handle is flared--so to any kindred--or simply curious--anal spirits out there, have at it! Both alone and with my boyfriend, I found it exquisitely filling without discomfort. To avoid a little minor cramping though, I do advise making sure it's comfortably toasty before insertion. Also, if you're a woman, just remember for practical germ purposes not to go from ass to pussy without washing it first.
Adam & Eve supply a little free "e-lube." It's not great. I compared it with some good ol' KY and found the e-lube to be much thicker, stickier, and drier. In fact, it really only comfortably lasted a minute or two for me, while the KY took its lickin' and kept on tickin'. Good news is, e-lube is water soluble and dissolves as quickly as KY, and additionally doesn't appear to freakishly stain anything, nor did it irritate my skin. But if you buy the toy, spring a couple extra dollars for whatever-lube-you-trust.
Four: Intimacy.
The first time I used Heart's Delight was with my boyfriend, and I had two fiery-brimstone-rush orgasms within minutes. Why? Because of two words on the label that Adam & Eve don't explicitly connect: heart and warmth. The handle, in my opinion, is not contoured simply to be cute. It feels tailor-made for fingers. That is, the dynamic handle lets your lover truly steer, guide, work this toy within you--your lover will not fuck you, but make love to you with it. In his solid grip, I quickly felt my boyfriend's heat melt down the glass and mingle with my own as he carefully drove Heart's Delight inside me. With his fingers behind it, there was an intelligence to its stimulation. This toy may not come with bells and whistles like remote control and ten-speed electro shock, but you can connect with your lover, I think, as closely as any toyless penetration could make you. My proof? As we collapsed for the night on the pillows, Heart’s Delight cuddled between us, my boyfriend nuzzled my ear and whispered “I love you”--for the very--first--time.
This glass cock is a glass slipper, friends. Right down to the fairy-tale ending.
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