This Section Sponsored By:
SexHerald Adult Reviews
© The Adult Entertainment and News Authority
Volume 7   -   Issue 1
 
Grrl Toyz Platinum Fusion I
Product: Grrl Toyz Platinum Fusion I
Manufacturer: Topco
Genres:: vibrator, dual action, battery powered, vibrator, clitoral, vibrator, insertable
Reviewer: Tobly McSmith
Rating: 2 out of 5
Grrl Toyz Platinum Fusion I
Reviewed by Tobly McSmith

The Platinum Fusion is Grrl Toyz answer to “the rabbit” style pleasure wands. The rabbits are the Swiss army knife of the dildos. They get you off in the front. They get you off in the clit. I’m pretty sure it could open cans, unlock cars, and save babies that have fallen into wells. 

Rabbits are the standard, or code name, for large battery-operated vibrators best identified by their rotating shafts, massaging bead-filled heads, and a ravenous clit vibe. Rabbits are endlessly referenced in movies and television. Sex in the City made the rabbit a household name during the first season when Charlotte York (Kristin Davis) becomes helplessly addicted to her rabbit after a break-up. She was instantly smitten, orgasm crazy, and refused to leave her house for days. When Carrie and friends come to intervene, they are reduced to opening a window to air out the place. Rabbits really are that good. Well, most of them.

I always take a moment to think about the toy’s name. In this case, we have Platinum which says to me that this is the top of line. And Fusion, well, that sounds like science. Platinum Fusion is top-of-the-line science ready for insertion. I am hesitant, though, because I am no size queen.  This bad boy comes in (literally) at a little less than 10 inches long and 3 inches wide making it not only packing a punch, but also a fist, an elbow, and a kitchen sink. This love wand is huge. And yes, there is such a thing as too big.

Size aside, the PFuse (I named it that) has opted to use a big round wonky bullet to stimulate the clit instead of the standard two cute little quaking rabbit ears or precious dolphin fins or any other animal part. The packaging calls it an “ecstasy egg.” It reminds me of the plastic eggs with little prizes inside you get from quarter machines at the supermarket. Not hot. It gets worse: The vibe is connected to the dildo with a curly, old school, telephone cord. (Remember how tangled they got? Yeah...)  It makes me wonder if they designed this vibrator with things sitting around their apartment. Hold on, it gets WORSE: Running up the dildo’s shaft are large, horse pill-shaped stimulating nubs. Three of them. This is a pill my pussy doesn’t want to swallow. But it will, for science.

If my Mom read my reviews, she would kindly remind me that if I didn’t have anything good to say then I shouldn’t say anything at all. Well, I can bet all the money in my pocket she has never been confronted with the Platinum Fusion. But, I’ll give the nice route a try. Stuff I liked about the Platinum Fusion. 1. It’s pink. Who doesn’t love a pretty pussy popper? 2. It comes with a satin, well, satinish, bag. Transportation and storage are almost always overlooked by the toy company. This leaves you to fend for yourself using Ziploc bags, foil, handmade knitted bags, or used gift wrap (Yes. I have.) 3. The Platinum Fusion has a one-year warranty. This takes a little stress off the hesitant shopper that is about to spend close to a hundred dollars. 4. The proportions and base are heavy enough that the dildo is able to stand at attention on your nightstand without tipping over. This keeps it clean and safe from your surfaces.

Ok, nice time is over. The plastic encasing is sticky but not lube do-me-long time sticky, more like cancer sticky. Not to mention the plastic has a highly toxic smell that begs for a condom. I won’t get into how the quaking is thunderous at the head and undetectable as you get closer to the base. I wouldn’t dare bring up how loud the toy is, no hiding this from your roommate. It sounds like you are drilling for oil rather than an orgasm. And there is no way I would talk how I didn’t orgasm at all. That would just be rude.

GrrlToyzPlatinumFusionI

   Email this review to a friend


Sex Toy Reviews

Sheer Glyde Dams
Johnny Hazzard Cyberskin 7x Vibrating Cock with Balls
Do Me Ducky Vibrator
Anal Plug for your Universal Love Swing
Adam & Eve Anal Lube, Slick Sensation



This Month's Highlights

After Hours
Little Trouble with Big Brother: An Interview with Paul ‘Max Hardcore’ Little
Ron Jeremy: A Swinging (Dick) Legend and Feminist?
Dian Hanson: The Queen of Pornography
What the #@%!: Ellen Sussman on Dirty Words

Aphrodisiacs
Love Potion No. 9… Minus the Gross Ingredients!
Testicles: Invigorating Wonder Balls For Lovers Who Crave More
Monoatomic Gold: All that Glitters IS Gold!
Pizza: America’s Favorite Comfort Food Turns Bone Erector

Books
The Slow Fix: Stories
8 Erotic Nights: Passionate Encounters that Inspire Great Sex for a Lifetime
Sexual Fluidity: Understanding Women’s Love and Desire

Booze
Leinenkugel Oktoberfest Beer
Gekkeikan Plum Sake
Bex 2006 Riesling

Features
Slave, You Give S&M a Bad Name
A Cure for Hysteria? Vibrators and Other Sex Toys in History
Six Sexy Women That Should Be in Porn
Peep-ular Culture and the Mainstreaming of Raunchy

Films
Pussy A Go Go
Chocolate Covered Asians
Big Loves 5
Twinks Love Twannies

Health
Taking It In and Getting It Up: How Substance Use Affects Sexual Arousal
The Sexual Health Benefits of Circumcision
LEEP: One Treatment Option for Women with HPV
Defining Intersex and the Sexual Health Problems They Face

Sex Toys
Night Moves Cyberskin Lust
Fingertip Massager
Adam & Eve SensaFirm Ripple Probe

Taboo
More than Décor
Nine-Month Fetish
Fantasy and Infidelity: Where Do the Lines Cross?
Politics of Pulling Out: The Facial Conundrum

Websites
Ten.com
ClubSapphic.com
YoungHotLatinos
.com

GeekGirlSex.com
  © Copyright 2004-2009, SexHerald.com ®  Copyright Notice  |  TOS/2257  |  User Agreement  |  Contact Us  |  Advertise With Us