Reviewed by Tobly McSmith
If one is the loneliest number than five must bring the party. The Five-Finger hand harness is yet another brilliant creation by Outlaw, a Seattle harness producer that bangs out high-quality leather products that are both unique in design (hence, palm strap) and insurmountable in performance (hence, my satisfied bedmates).
The concept is a simple: a glove-like leather strap concoction that allows you to take your favorite plastic cock, attach it your palm, and give some lucky hole, whether it be your own or someone’s that you know, a healthy plunging. I was a little confused by the name, Five Finger, when referring to a harness for your palm. The motivation behind the namesake became clear to me when I strapped the dildo to my palm and found my five long fingers readily available, and perfectly placed, to give my playmate’s pink lips and clit a little rub it, pinch it, tickle it action. Back Door Bonus: Frisky and flexible fingers can surely find their way back to that little horny asshole that can get neglected in moments like this.
The harness is subtle enough to wear in public for those quickies in the bathrooms and under tables. That’s why they invented skirts, right? You can really get some power behind your pumping. It’s all about control, and you can really slow down and speed up the pace as you see fit. And this is perfect if your exercise routine calls for repetitive arm movements.
Let’s talk logistics for a hot minute. I would not go so far as saying it was impossible to figure out what leather strap went where and how, but the first time I tried on the Five Finger there was some frustration, a little confusion, and maybe a hint of a temper tantrum. Luckily, I was alone at the time. If you decide to add the Five Finger into your boudoir of sex accoutrements, make sure to practice getting your gun in the holster before the showdown, cowgirl. I actually had to make the buckle holes a bit bigger to fit into the snap in the back. In a desperate fit, I used my house keys (remember, temper tantrum) to poke bigger holes in the leather. The keys did the trick but that was not something I would want to do while a lady is hogtied and ready for a good hand screwing.
All the preparation is worth it, I assure you. The Five Finger feels awesome on, and in. Powerful, really. How could you not feel cocksure with a cock strapped to your palm? I assure you, it’s impossible.
I like to imagine the fine innovators (dildoteers?) at Outlaw sitting around deciding what body part to strap a cock on to next. The thigh? The hand? What is next, I ask. (Forehead?) No appendage is safe, nor is any sexable orifice with the Outlaw out there conjuring up the sexiest leather harnesses I have ever strapped on. I may not have the whole world in the palm of my hand but at least I have the dildo of my choice there. And sometimes, that is my whole world. The in and out motion is natural, like continually high-fiving the pussy. As soon as we were done, she wanted more. My playmate could obviously deal with the ramifications. Five-FingerPalmHarness
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