Reviewed by Tobly McSmith
It’s not every day you get to shop for your very first, virginal, strap-on. I chose a New York City shop that was adorned with campy bright shiny lights on the outside and lined with a overwhelming collection of stiletto heels perfect for receiving tongue baths and stomping on men's sensitive areas. I hesitantly edged closer and closer to the glass case filled with strap-on paraphernalia. A young “salesperson" started aggressively manhandling me about what kind of strap-on I wanted. She started waving floppy dildos around, occasionally slapping me with them. "You want an 8-inch, a 12-inch, or does your girl like a big fat 16-inch black cock in her ass?" she questioned loud enough to scare nuns on the street. I had never asked my girlfriend. Maybe she did want a 16-inch black cock in her ass? My overzealous salesgirl was wrapping a harness around me encouraging me to have sex on the desk, in the shower, the movie theater, then getting overexcited she flopped on the floor like she was doing push-ups yelling at me to do my girl like this, real hard, like this. The whole experience was unnerving.
Luckily, with the help of a reliable, well-known sex toy company like Adam and Eve you dont have to have the same experience as me. Eve’s Strap-On Kit is an all-inclusive package complete with a well built harness and two, count them, two dildos to stick into that deserving orifice of your lover. The harness is the most important part of the sexperience when it comes to strapping one on and banging away. Velcro will eventually break. Buckles can be stubborn. This particular dildo holster is sized to fit up to a whopping 49-inch waist. The smaller waisted humpers out there might want to cut the excess off to save themselves from whipping loose ends everywhere, spilling drinks, etc.
The belt for the waist is as easy to put on as a belt with no penis attached (boring), but when the strap that wraps up the ass like a thong is tightened it can be bit stubborn and a nuisance to get on. Proper planning and fitting ahead of time is a good idea because when someone wants a proper dick down you don’t want to keep them waiting as you fiddle with your equipment. Instead of a cumbersome cock ring with snaps or buttons, this cleverly designed harness has a small Velcro-ed slit allowing you to insert the dlido quickly and Velcro-ing it in place snuggly. I had no problems with slippage. A special thank you to the man that invented Velcro. I hope he knows how much good sex he is responsible for.
The two dildos are a complementary ying and yang of each other. Between the smaller purple pussy eater and the floppier realistic looking cock the awards go accordingly: Best for interesting positions (Like the Wheelbarrow? Why Not!): The Realistic Dong! This big guy clocks in at close to 8 inches allowing for better angles and penetrations. Best for ass play: The purple pecker takes the prize, it being the smaller and harder of the two. This is perfect for the novice ass that doesn’t want it too deep, and the stiffness helps navigation. Most embarrassing to fall out of your bag in a public place: Both! Trust me.
The packaging dotes on this strap-on set to be perfect for the beginner and the Pro. I would have to agree. When looking for a strap-on, it's important to have something that will stay in place and bring your partner to a screaming climax. Since it’s an all in one package you can bypass the aggressive salesperson and get down to business. So go on, live on the dongerous side. Eve’sHarnessStrap-OnKit
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