Reviewed by Tobly McSmith
Thanks to the high gas prices and the slumping economy, I can hardly afford bus tickets out of town, and I can forget about foreign travel anytime soon. Luckily with Lelo’s Elise personal massager my vagina can go to Sweden whenever it wants! Lelo is a Swedish company that sets the precedence for quality, high brow, fancy pants sex toys. That’s right you lucky little vagina, you are swept away on a Nordic vacation when that quietly buzzing, perfectly shaped Elise vibrator starts working its magic. I am so jealous of my junk sometimes.
Just like your little black cocktail dress, this black vibrator is downtown chic. It’s sophisticated enough to take on a night on the town, discreet enough that if it fell out of your purse people might mistake it for some kind of electronic shoehorn, and dependably sexy enough to know you will get your rocks off at the end of the night, elegantly, without having to buy it dinner. Now that is my kind of classy.
Let’s talk logistics. The shape of the Elise is profound. Its contours are like the Nordic mountain, curving and declining, dipping right into your clit taking you to your highest summit. I really do love mountains. The Elise is brilliant for shagging yourself. The buttons are located on the hand grip and easy to alternate even when you are orgasming so hard your eyes might pop out. The different settings are amazing and noticeably different delivering all sorts of pulsating fun.
The Elise is made of “splash proof” silicone. I take this to mean “enjoy me in the shower, don’t drown me in a bathtub!” My sex slave is quite the squirter, so this kind of precaution is needed. It important to know that things can get a little wet and the fun can carry on!
The Elise is the thinking woman’s vibrator. It’s smart in design. It is shaped to fit, inside and out. I keep mine out of the honey pot for the most part, but this is a toy that can plunge into your nether regions for a little g-spot search party. I think you will like what you find. The Elise, and all things Lelo, are at a higher price point than your run of the mill vibrators. It is worth the investment, you are paying for the quality, and it is well worth the price.
Are you ready for this? The Elise is rechargeable. No batteries needed! Booyah! This is a reason to celebrate. I can’t tell you what a sad state of affairs it is when all I need in the world is to get myself off only to find the batteries in my toy have kicked it, prompting me to run around the apartment in a sex hungry frenzy ripping open every remote control desperately searching for the right sized battery. This is no longer a problem with the Elise, and all the Lelo toys.
The Elise is good. How good? Good enough that I found myself imagining a new life in Sweden. If the vibrators are this good what does the cheese taste like? Are their couches more comfortable? When I get the Elise pulsating on all my hot little places I swear I am suddenly speaking in Swedish tongues. I lose concern about what the neighbors must think, how much my carrying on is scaring my cats, I have completely lost control. Yes, it’s that good.
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