Reviewed by Tobly McSmith
Sometimes you really need a blowjob. Right, fellas? You have no girlfriend, no late-night booty call, and not nearly enough money for a call girl. Your hand alone just won’t do it. You are desperate, but not so hard that you would consider (well, not for more than a few minutes) sticking your penis in various jars from the refrigerator. This is when Cyber Suck comes in, excuse the pun, handy.
Truth be told, I have no cock of my own to stick into the Cyber Suck. I only have penis envy around dirty toilet seats I don’t want to sit on, and in the delicate times when I have my hot sex slut bent over and hunger for some penetration, I do thank every star in the sky for my strap-on. So yeah, I’m pretty dickless but I do have one very lonely roommate who has one, who we’ll call Bob. He, for sure, has a lack of hooker funds and a strict restriction on sticking his junk into condiments in the fridge. So from here on out in this review anything in quotes are Bob’s words, not mine.
The CyberSkin Cyber Suck is a face in a box. Well, about 40 percent of the head. The important parts of the face are represented when it comes to a blowjob: The mouth for the obvious, the nose for the “realistic tea bag action, also you could flip the head around for a 69 or good old-fashioned throat fuck,” her cheeks for some good dick slapping, and no eyes to bother you with disappointed looks of boredom. This is a good time to admit that most of my blowjob knowledge comes from porn.
I am no scientist but I would think that sticking your penis into a plastic enclosing could cause trouble. The Cyber Suck comes with a bottle of lube but it still seems like getting even the hardest of cocks into the plastic hole is more challenging than any amusement park game. What I could only imagine happening is something I affectionately called skin shedding. Bob had this to say: “Cyber Suck definitely needed lube to avoid any ‘skin shedding’ despite the quite incredible feel of CyberSkin—I love Cyber Skin! The inside was quite dry and tantamount to sticking your junk in a rubber hose. (I can only assume Bob has tried the hose thing before.) The outside felt so natural and realistic, I only assumed the inside of her mouth held equal promise. I was sadly mistaken.”
To ensure a fair review I asked Bob if, let’s say a "real man,” with a bigger member had trouble getting his junk in her mouth. His carefully thought-out retort was, “Yes, I had trouble getting my dick in and had to stretch the mouth like an extreme gonzo porno.” This turns a lonely night with your toy to something science fiction. Not sexy. Unless you are into science fiction, then it is very sexy.
So far we have a trouble with insertion and something I like to continue calling skin shedding. What about when your cock is inside, what then? Well, Bob added that the toy “has a hole at the end of the shaft on the inside of her mouth to accommodate for larger men or a more sensitive experience. You can also stick the pocket vibrator in the end to simulate getting a blowjob from an epileptic or an old woman.” Who doesn’t like getting a little humming action? Bob found “the only problem that he really encountered was not properly cleaning the toy beforehand. “It hurt to pee for a few hours afterwards. Always clean your sex toys. Lesson learned.” Speaking of dick slapping (even if we weren’t), Bob had this to add: “I loved dick slapping Rhianna (that is what Bob named the toy). This is one of the benefits of the realistic CyberSkin. Playing around the lips or slapping against the cheeks. Unfortunately, it's only half a head so you can't really bust a nut in her eye out of spite.” I feel your pain, Bob.
“All in all I have to say the experience was enjoyable, just not for me. Had it been a younger version of me, with less experience, this would have probably been one of the greatest inventions ever. It was fun to look at the Cyber Suck while it was on my dick as the lips and cheeks bulged out quite realistically.” He offered up a suggestion for those really lonely nights. ”You could also practice kissing as the lips feel incredibly realistic. You know, if you need practice.” Proving once again that it is a sad life Bob lives, but thanks to Cyber Suck he can at least ease his overall loneness and spice up his self-love life! CyberSkinCyberSuck
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