Reviewed by Tobly McSmith
A couple years ago, a fairly well-known hot dog company released a simple commercial featuring an overweight balding man presiding over a standard issue BBQ grill salivating over his cooking wieners saying only “mmmm, girthy” several times throughout the 30-second spot. The ominous way he was only to be able to form the word girthy over and over was downright creepy. I decided right then and there people want it big, but they don’t want it girthy. I suppose the hot dog company did as well, the commercial was pulled quickly.
When I was handed the CyberCock with Balls and Virtual Touch Vibrating Fatty I found myself mumbling the words “Eww, girthy.” But not really in a good, plump hot dog kind of way. The packaging promises “material that closely mimics the soft feel of real human skin” and even comes with one of those “try me, buy me” samples of the skin-like cyber substance. Everything about this was creepy, I thought, as I diddled the sample skin.
Truth be told, due to my strict vagatarian diet of lady’s naughty parts, I haven’t had many cocks in my hand. Well not enough to pay the rent, and probably not even enough to make a fair judgment on just how realistic this fatty truly feels. Since I am a good idea machine I make my roommate, who is a man and has had several man moments with other men, give the big guy a once over.
While copping a feel, he gave kudos to the life-like shaft. He was really enjoying the texture. Maybe for a little too long. Things grew more uncomfortable when he gave the balls a squeeze, commenting on how real they got them. He was really having a good time, and I really wanted to the leave the room. I asked if he thought the fatty was too girthy but he didn’t appear to think so, he was damn near licking it. This was about the time I began to think he may be spending too much time in the gym locker room. After I pried it out of his hands, he gave it the thumbs up on look and the feel. Minus the power cord. Just like condoms, no one likes power cords. They get tangled, are cumbersome, and kind of lend a hint of cheapness. But just like condoms, they are a necessary evil.
Once the CyberCock gets in, well, balls deep there isn’t much to hold unto to causing a serious lack in the pull it out, stick it back in, repeat cycle. It was like pouring hot tea with out a handle, you just have no idea where to grab it. Your orgasm is dependant on the feeling of being filled up and the shaking gyrations of the inner dong. I’m not saying once you pull that baby into full throttle you don’t get off. The bullet is placed in the head of the cock to make it really bang around deep in your hot hole.
When it comes to the insertable dildos, I want something that is going to get in there and get the job done with unpacking all there junk making it feel a bit too stuffy in my little pink apartment. But like my roommate, there are you freaks out there that beg for a little plump in their cock, and if that is you, you dirty bird you, then the CyberCock Fatty will have you screaming “Mmmm, girthy” all night long.
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