Reviewed by Tobly McSmith
We all get hard up for some loving from time to time. Maybe you live in a secluded, un- accepting town with a lack of gay bars. Or, maybe you have a cowboy fetish that you find nearly impossible to be filled (pun intended). I suppose the boys of the movie Brokeback Mountain were reduced in options as well. They went to great lengths to find a place to run around tickling, wrestling, sucking, and sexing each other. You, fortunately, don’t have to escape to a mountain on a “fishing trip” to get some cowboy love with TLC’s Bareback Mount Him inflatable doll. He’s life size! His arms and legs rotate around for fun flexi positions! He wears a bandana!
What plastic cowboy is complete without a hole to suck and a hole to buck? Yea-haw. The question is: Who is that hard up to actually forcibly stuff their willy in a tight plastic bag-like orifice? Naturally, I thought of my roommate. He’s creepy. He was to be the perfect candidate for some action with Mr. Blow Up.
I was to set them up a la Matchmaker. I would stress the cowboy’s good qualities, complementing his airiness approach to life and his do-anything attitude, saying things like “Hey look, its got holes to stick your thing in.” And, “Holes? I bet you could stick things in there!” Every time I came home, I would be ready to walk in on my roommate, Bareback Mount Him, and a tub of Vaseline but sadly my dreams were never realized as far as I know. In all actuality, this doll is not so much for boning. Give up your cowboy dreams.
Don’t let the virtually unusable holes deflate the night. Have some fun with Bareback Mount Him. Take him out for a night on the town. He’s the prefect companion for any ho down, square dance, or political rally. With a foot-long dong, he really gets his point across. I got slightly offended/astonished looks on the street when I walked hand and hand with my pecker-heavy inflatable friend. Bareback Mount Him was the hit of the night. People posed for pictures with him, sometimes sticking his inflatocock into their mouths. This guy is perfect for any party or event that could use a little novelty fun, and did I mention he is wearing a bandana?
The fact that getting your junk up the tight, virgin ass of Bareback Mount Him is probably harder than hog-tying cattle at the rodeo sucks (or blows, rather). But, think outside the butt on this toy. He is here for your enjoyment. Show him off to your friends. The possibilities are endless. Will you be walking hand and hand into the sunset with this inflatable hunk? Will you be able to quit Bareback Mount Him? Probably. But just like a gay-man tryst high up in the mountains, it’s fun while it lasts.
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