What’s a girl crush? Isn’t it when a guy has the hots for some chick, usually a girl that’s way out of his league but still wants to hit that? Well, technically it is. But what about when it’s a girl who has a girl crush on another girl? Then she’s a lesbian or bisexual or just “curious.” That could be true, too. But, what about when a perfectly heterosexual woman suddenly develops a “girl crush” on another woman—gay, straight or otherwise—but in a non-sexual way? That can’t be considered a crush. Well, technically it is.

So, what is a girl crush? For many women, they are non-romantic “crushes” they develop on other women whom they admire for a variety of reasons. A girl could be in awe over another girl’s sense of style, the way she dances, the way she carries herself, her social or her professional status, the places she’s been, or the people that she knows. They can start out casually, such as hitting it off with another girl, or having lots in common with her. Soon, the conversation takes a flirtatious turn though not in a sexual turn. Usually, a friendship develops from these crushes and women have often said that while it’s flattering being paid attention to from guys, with women it’s more flattering since women don’t usually have ulterior motives for being friends with another woman.

The New York Times did a highly publicized article on the subject of girl crushes. Girl crushes, as defined by the newspaper, are “not sexual in nature, [but] the feelings that it triggers—excitement, nervousness, a sense of novelty—are very much like those that accompany a new romance.” In other words, again quoting from the illustrious news source: “It’s an infatuation that one heterosexual woman develops for another woman who may seem impossibly sophisticated, gifted, beautiful or accomplished.”

According to Dr. Helen Fisher, an anthropologist at Rutger’s University and author of Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love, she states that girlie crushes are as natural as any other kind of love. However, since love and lust are distinct urges, these are (nearly always) not sexual attractions.

“Girl crushes can give a woman safe and valuable experience in the emotions of love,” says Dr. Fisher. However, some have even described girl crushes as a “mentally sound alternative to adultery; an acceptable way to remind yourself that you’ve still got ‘it’ without waking up the next morning filled with self-loathing and a metaphysical hangover.” It in no way implies that women are really lesbians in denial.

Girl crushes are not a new phenomenon, although it hasn’t always been known as “girl crushes.” Women, especially girls, have always had feelings or strong adoration for one another. Scientists believe it’s a result of evolution—these feelings have helped women work and bond with each other—so, it’s a part of a woman’s nature. And while the phenomenon isn’t new, what is new is the willingness of women today to express their feelings towards other women much more freely.

Paula J. Caplan, a sociology professor at Harvard, states that as far back as the 19 th century was the last time women freely admitted their feelings towards each other. They would write long, passionate-filled letters with phrases like “I miss you desperately. I long to hug you and talk to you all night.”

In the 1960s and 70s, however, with homophobia much more rampant than today, expressions of affection were uncommon then. Dr. Caplan explains that women were uncomfortable admitting their feelings, fearing that if they did their feelings would be misconstrued as being a lesbian. Even today, women of that generation can still feel shy about admitting their feelings for each other.

“Historically, talking about these kinds of feelings has gone in and out of fashion,” says Dr. Caplan. “Women have not been this blunt in expressing their crushes for several generations.”

As for men, they are not raised to show their emotions; so, they are less likely than women to express their feelings towards other men. "Men aren't supposed to talk about feelings at all," said Dr. Caplan.

Although girl crushes have been rarely studied, Dr. Caplan and her colleagues from the Albert Einstein College of Medicine at the State University at Stony Brook analyzed the brain scans of 18-26 year old who claimed to be in love. They found that love and lust could be mapped to separate parts of the brain.

"The brain system for romantic love is associated with intense energy, focused energy, obsessive things—a host of characteristics that you can feel not just toward a mating sweetheart," said Dr. Fisher, adding that "there's every reason to think that girls can fall in love with other girls without feeling sexual towards them, without the intention to marry them."

While crushes are fleeting, infatuations often turn into friendships. However, once a crush is revealed, it can change the dynamics of a relationship. Sometimes a crush is so strong it makes the object of affection uneasy, killing the possibility of friendship. But more often than not, a girl crush has the potential to become an important part of one's life, and it can be normal for some to not help but feel a tinge of excitement whenever a girl meets a fascinating woman to have a crush on. At least a girl can expect a call back when she exchanges numbers with another female. Or, can expect them to notice when you’ve had your hair done.