In the classic play “Fiddler on the Roof,” two of Teyve’s blushing daughters, Hodel and Chava, beseech of their poor village’s Yente, or Matchmaker, to find them each a suitable husband. 

“For Papa, make him a scholar/ For Mama, make rich as a king/ For me, well, I wouldn’t holler/ If he were as handsome as anything/”

Maybe Hodel and Chava should just try JDate instead.

Online dating, while an easier and certainly safer alternative to bars and clubs for meeting your next boyfriend or girlfriend (or for your replacement to them), doesn’t necessarily increase the chances of actually meeting someone you’ll like. True, there’s bound to be at least one prince amid the army of frogs, but much like your favorite club that has that sweaty guy with bad teeth trying to grind on you, so do Internet dating sites have less-than-perfect matches for you as well.

Some of the larger and more popular online dating sites include Yahoo! Personals, EHarmony.com and Match.com, each boasting a myriad of users. Just how many people are going online to find a date? That can be difficult to gauge. Even the complied statistic can tell conflicting stories. According to Juniper Research, a website that reviews online dating websites, approximately 3 million Americans use online dating services. That’s roughly 13 percent of Internet users in the US, according to a survey conducted by Comscore in 2007.

Among those users, the number of them paying for online dating services continues to drop. Revenue from online services in 2002 and 2003, the industry was growing at about 70 percent annually. Not anymore, and the drop off has been staggering. In 2003, industry growth of online dating sites had been about 77 percent. In 2004, it dropped to 19 percent, and all the way down to just 9 percent by 2005.

What’s to account for the change? Shaheen Pasha of CNN/Money blames the natural curve of business; any hot new industry will eventually cool off. Still, he writes there may be other factors in the decline of online dating. “The curiosity factor was one driver of business as intrigued browsers flocked to dating sites… But once the media picked up on the hype with films such as Must Love Dogs and Disney’s ABC Networks documentary/reality show Hooking Up, it became evident that the mystique was gone.” 

Pasha goes on to blame part of online dating’s demise on “the creepiness factor” where users became fed up at the seemingly endless string of undesirable and downright weird potential suitors flooding their inboxes with overly aggressive overtures.  “One former online dater,” writes Pasha, “said the abundance of freaks that sent her emails—one resembled the Incredible Hulk while another said he preferred educated women who would spend their lives serving him—turned her off the online scene. She eventually met her current boyfriend through friends.”

“Today online dating is a hectic market,” says Paul Nicholls, writing for EBizTutors.com. “Competition is coming from all directions. As a result, online dating’s growth has slowed significantly.”

Its paid growth has, anyway. Free online dating sites continue to generate tons of traffic. Seventeen million people viewed online personal ads in 2006, 2.5 million of which were paid for, says statistics cited by CNN. 

Bill Tancer, general manager of worldwide research at Hitwise, an Internet market research firm, told CNN that despite dwindling numbers in membership, online dating has become too ingrained into the social fabric to ever fade away. Currently, Hitwise has the number of online dating websites at nearly 1000, making up 1 percent of all Internet usage. That means one out of every 100 people logging onto the Internet visits a dating website.

Just because a personal ad is been viewed, however, doesn’t mean anyone is ever contacted for it. “It's usually free to browse; the money kicks in when you want to connect with someone,” explains CNN’s Daniel Seiberg.

Finding an appealing profile on an Internet dating website is hardly a guarantee that the pairing will work in real world. Number of users does not necessarily indicate rates of success. Some matchmaking websites claim to analyze individual profiles to prescreen potential matches for their users, thus giving the impression that they really can find you the mate you’re looking for. These websites advertise that they have powerful, accurate, scientific matchmaking tests. EHarmony.com, promoted by clinical psychologist Neil Warren is one example, as well as PerfectMatch.com by sociologist Pepper Schwartz of the University of Washington, and Chemistry.com by anthropologist Helen Fisher of Rutgers.

Writing for Scientific American in January of 2007, Robert Epstein, a researcher for over 30 years and test designer for 15 years, took a look at several online dating websites to test the merits of their claims. The results were not flattering. “When I see extravagant ads for online tests that promise to find people a soul mate,” Epstein writes, “I find myself asking, ‘How on earth could such a test exist?’ The truth is, it doesn't.”

According to Epstein, psychometric evaluation, in order for it to be scientifically valid, has to meet two requirements. First, it needs to demonstrate reliability. Basically, it needs to produce consistent, stable results. Next, it must show that it is a valid means of analyzing what is being measured.  “With a test that matches people up,” says Epstein, “such validity would be established by showing that the resulting romantic pairings are actually successful.” The thing is, the success is not there, according to Epstein’s analysis.

“Why would a major company such as eHarmony, which claims to have 12 million members, not subject its ‘scientific, 29-dimension’ test to a scientific validation process?” he asks.
In 2005, eHarmony's own published statistics were tested by a team of researchers, one of whom was Philip Zimbardo, formerly president of the American Psychological Association. Their conclusion states, “When eHarmony recommends someone as a compatible match, there is a 1 in 500 chance that you'll marry this person.... Given that eHarmony delivers about 1.5 matches a month, if you went on a date with all of them, it would take 346 dates and 19 years to reach [a] 50 percent chance of getting married.” Their study goes on to observe, “There is no evidence that ... scientific psychology is able to pair individuals who will enjoy happy, lasting marriages.”

This underscores one of the main problems e-dating presents: the capacity for deception. Users of online dating services, naturally, will try to make their profiles look as appealing as possible. What this often translates to are good old-fashioned white lies. A boost to one’s appeal does occasionally require some falsehood when you first meet someone new. Case in point: a young woman who pretends to love sports when she’s speaking to a guy who loves sports, even though she has no taste for it whatsoever, and only engages in the lie to make herself look more favorable to him. A little blurring of the lines of truth is not uncommon in the dating process.

“But cyberspace introduces a host of new possibilities,” Epstein says. Tall, dark and handsome can suddenly become short, bald and pasty. Media researcher Jeana Frost of Boston University and the Massachusetts Institute of Technology conducted a survey suggesting about 20 percent of online dating service users admit to telling lies on their profiles. That number increases to 90 percent when those same users are asked how many other people are lying on their profiles.

“For men, the major areas of deception are educational level, income, height, age and marital status; at least 13 percent of online male suitors are thought to be married,” Epstein says. “For women, the major areas of deception are weight, physical appearance and age. All of the relevant research shows the importance of physical appearance for both sexes…”

The process is not made any easier by the websites themselves, which ironically, don’t normally fit the description of user friendly. Take for example, Match.com, which claims over 15 million members. It turns out that of those 15 million, according to The Psychology Lounge, only 1 million are paying members, so only one in 15 members can even respond to emails they are sent. Therefore, users contacted by an interested party won’t know they’ve been contacted unless they’re a paying member.

Despite the numerous perils of online dating though, scouring the deepest depths of cyberspace for a mate can be advantageous to those who know what they’re looking for. Singles looking for a mate of similar religious beliefs can narrow their search significantly using faith-themed dating websites, including Jdate.com for Jewish singles, ChristianDatingForFree.com for Christians, and Qiran.com for Muslims. Want to find a partner who’s into keeping in shape? Then try out TheFitnessPersonals.com to meet only people who go to the gym as ritualistically as you do. Or maybe you’re a younger man in the market for an older woman? No problem, just click onto DateaCougar.com, GoCougar.com or OlderWomenLove.com. Young women looking for older men can search on SugarDaddie.com or SugarDaddyForMe.com. Are you an ebony god looking for your ebony goddess? Then make haste to BlackPlanet.com. And I’m not saying you’re a gold digger, but if you ain’t messing with no broke, uh, y’know, then find your beau Donald on DateAMillionaire.com.

Craigslist.org, not just used for finding employment and used cars anymore, offers its users a personal ad section where they can go looking for a hook. Follow the men seeking women link in the New York area, and you’ll find everything from a 29-year-old Israeli aspiring filmmaker from Brooklyn “looking for someone sweet and adorable,” to a “dominant indie guy” from Manhattan’s Lower East Side who’s trying to find “sassy and opinionated girls with a secret submissive side.” Another man from Manhattan’s Upper West side, who described himself as tall, attractive and in his 30s, wanted to find a woman who’ll watch him masturbate. “No touching is required. I'll come over, do it, and leave.”

The women seeking men link is equally varied. A 29-year-old woman posted she’s in search of a man who, among other things, is a good listener, isn’t selfish, considers the feelings of others, has good self-esteem but who is humble and knows what he wants in a relationship. Others aren’t quite so picky. A 32-year-old woman, a divorcee of seven years, wants to know where all the honest over-30 men are, because “I suppose because the man of my dreams is not going to knock on my door!” Maybe she should email that dude who wants to jerk-off in her apartment. A woman who titled her post “Happily Married but IN A SEXUAL RUT!!! - 31” says she wants to spice things up with a “fresh perspective.” She’s sexy, and (claims) to have the pics to prove it.

She’s also not alone. Many women have taken to the Internet solely for the purposes of hooking up. The aptly named dating website PlentyOfFish.com claims the number of single women looking for casual sexual encounters has doubled since 2004. “Roughly 9 percent of the female population visiting the sites selected the ‘intimate encounter’ option.’ In 2008, the figure doubled to 18 percent.”

Changes are also occurring in the ratio of men to women who are only seeking hook-ups, according to PlentyOfFish.com. The ratio several years ago was 10 men for every one woman was just seeking sex. The ratio now stands at only five to one.

Check out the casual encounters on Craigslist section. And you’ll see a 19 year old who’s in town for a few days, and wants to have some fun before she leaves. “I am in great shape, 34 C breasts, dirty blonde hair, shaved pussy.” She did not, sadly, specify whether triangle or linoleum floor is her preferred method of grooming.

Men have gotten into the act on Craigslist, too. One guy who’s into “Late Night Licking” says he has a talented tongue “Seeking to Pleasure Your CURVES.”  Another man beckons the women of New York City to “Come in Out of the Cold Rain...Into My Hot Cum Shower.”  There’s even one adventurous lad willing to offer up his services for a two-guy-one-girl threeway. “Does the idea of having two big, beautiful, rock-hard cocks all to yourself sound like a dream too good to be true?”

HottieMatchUp.com advertises itself as a place to meet “freaky singles” with no commitments. OnlineBootCall.com, an online dating website for “Singles Who Enjoy Being Single,” offers users not only the chance to meet someone for a quick run-through, but even has a list of 10 Booty Call Commandments posted on its homepage. Included in these are: “Thou shalt get out before the sun rises,” “Thou shouldest never ask ‘can we see each other from now on?,’” and most importantly, “If someone cometh over whilst thou art here, thou art my cousin from out of town.”

The Ashley Madison Agency, which has been featured on Larry King Live, Ellen, Tyra Banks and The Howard Stern Show, and boasting over 2 million members, is a website designed specifically for married people who want to have an affair. You may remember their advertisement that appeared in the Super Bowl program, and their absolutely hilarious and clever TV commercial, which ESPN later pulled for being, supposedly, inappropriate. Ashley Madison offers a 100 percent guarantee of discreetness and secrecy. “Life is Short,” the website says. “Have an Affair”.

Ashley Madison CEO Noel Biderman told Online Personals Watch in an interview from April 25, 2008, “Our members are people who find themselves attached at this stage in their lives, and in many instances, in otherwise very happy marriages or with great family situations, but they're physically or emotionally unfulfilled. What they seek at Ashley Madison is someone who understands those needs.”

Services like the one Ashley Madison and other online dating websites provides give people something that can fulfill one of, if not, the most basic human desire there is: the need for sexual gratification. If the relationship a person is currently in is not meeting that need, then online dating services can be utilized to help satisfy the interested party. There can hardly be anything wrong with that, now can there?

While perhaps not the most effective means by which to meet someone special, online dating services are still going strong, and will be for the foreseeable future, used by millions of people hoping to find someone to be happy with. How long they want they want that happiness to last, when and if they find it, is up to them.