Do you know who wrote the lyrics to “Serial Killer?” Why it was none other than Lemmy Kilmister, metal god, leader of the most awesome metal band ever, Motorhead. And for a few days this summer, an out-of-the-closet bisexual. What!? The man who wrote “Ace of Spades,” “All Gone to Hell,” and “Go to Hell” bi? Can’t be. Fortunately for metal heads everywhere, as quickly as it made the rounds on the Internet, it was exposed as a hoax – a new topic for urban myth junkies to debate.

Over the years, plenty of celebrities have come out professing their attraction for both sexes. And try walking down the street without bumping into someone who hasn’t “experimented.” We all know what it means to be bisexual—or do we? Are people born bi or is there really such a thing as bisexuality? The debate about switch-hitting has gone on for years but, surprisingly, little study has been done on the topic. One thing I’m certain of—Lemmy isn’t bi—not that there’s anything wrong with that. Or is there?

What is bisexuality?

The general textbook definition of bisexuality is men and women who achieve sexual or erotic attraction to members of both sexes. Usually, but not always, the bisexual person engages in sexual activity with partners of both sexes. Thus, bisexuals are people who are sexually attracted to persons of both sexes during the same general time period in their lives. 

It’s been argued that bisexual individuals begin developing an attraction for both sexes later in life; thus, it’s not necessarily the way they’re born, unlike homosexuals or heterosexuals. Studies have suggested that over a period of time, men and women who have always thought of themselves as heterosexual may begin developing emotional attachments to the same sex, especially after forming a close bond with a certain or a group of individuals, which leads to sexual attraction. Think of it this way: your buddy you’re constantly going out with to grab a few drinks; your best friend you get your hair and makeup done with suddenly starts having a crush on you. Or maybe it’s you who starts falling head over heels for them.

But does bisexuality exist? The New York Times recently ran a story regarding a controversial study that seemed to suggest that true bisexuality is not a sexual orientation but rather people who claim to be bisexual are not being honest about their true sexual identity.

The study, conducted with a sample of 101 men who identified themselves either as straight, gay or bi, measured genital arousal patterns in response to images of men and women. There were no surprises when it came to gay and straight men: gay men showed arousal to images of men and heterosexual men showed arousal to women. But the patterns of arousal of bisexual men were inconsistent with their stated attraction to men and to women. It found that men who identified themselves as bi were aroused by either one sex or the other, usually by other men.

While the study was applauded, several other researchers were disturbed with the results and analysis. “The last thing you want,” said Dr. Randall Sell, an assistant professor of clinical socio-medical sciences at Columbia University, “is for some therapists to see this study and start telling bisexual people that they're wrong, that they're really on their way to homosexuality. We don’t know nearly enough about sexual orientation and identity” to jump to these conclusions.

Bisexuality in society and religion

Because most of us are taught to view the world in black and white, hot and cold, light and dark, male and female, we may also view human sexuality in the same terms: heterosexual and homosexual. But the reality is that human sexuality is a very complex subject that can’t be classified into two classifications. So, where does bisexuality fit in the entire spectrum? Is bisexuality a legitimate sexual orientation or just a mere “lifestyle” choice as often defined by religious groups? There are many definitions of bisexuality but there is no universally accepted agreement on what it is.

In an attempt to classify sexual attraction for the two genders, human sexuality researcher Alfred Kinsey developed a seven level rating scale in which "0" meant purely heterosexual and "6" meant purely homosexual. Most adults rate themselves as a "0." A gay and lesbian person identified themselves as a "6". A small minority was rated bisexual (ratings 1 to 5). Of these, only a very small minority is attracted to both men and women equally and identified themselves with a "3" rating.

So OK, you consider yourself bi. You’re into chicks and guys. You have relationships with both, are attracted to both sexes, you may have feelings for men and women but choose to only be with one gender. Whatever your orientation, whatever you do behind closed doors is your right. It’s also the right of others to have their say about bisexuality, most notably, religious rightists. The feeling of some is that bisexuality, along with homosexuality, should be classified along the same lines as bestiality, necrophilia and pedophilia. Legislation prohibiting discrimination based on a person’s sexual orientation, they fear, will only promote homosexuality and bisexuality and that it will increase sexual abuse against children and violent activity. But all the research in the world has concluded that this is not the case at all.

Perhaps one of the worst ideas ever conceived is the notion that a person can change their sexual orientation, or de-gay individuals by having them enter reparative therapy. The goal of these “therapy” sessions is to have a gay individual leave their lifestyle and become an ex-gay. Usually claiming a high success rate, these “success” stories actually consist of bisexuals who have made a conscious decision to remain celibate or to enter into relationships with people of the opposite sex. But the fact is, despite the message of these sessions that you can be “cured” of your homosexuality or bisexuality, it is virtually impossible for anyone to change his or her orientation.

Myths and misconceptions: The stuff you thought you knew

I don’t care how many times around the block you’ve been with whomever. At some point, you’ve probably heard some misinformation about bisexuality and thought to yourself, “It has to be true.”

Bisexuality is just a phase: For some it may be. However, other individuals regard themselves to be permanently bisexual throughout their adult life.

Bisexuals are only satisfied if they have sexual partners of both genders: No. Bisexuals are attracted to both genders but do not necessarily act on their feelings of attraction.

Bisexuals spread AIDS: This is absolutely true. So do heterosexuals and homosexuals.

Bisexuals are equally attracted to both genders: In the Kinsey scale, a person who is equally attracted to both men and women are a "3." Kinsey found many bisexuals who identify themselves as a 1, 2 (i.e. mainly attracted to members of the opposite gender) or a 4 or 5 (i.e. mainly attracted to members of the same gender). Many individuals, although attracted to both men and women, have a real preference.

Bisexuals are incapable of being monogamous: Many bisexuals have proven that this stereotype is wrong as many are capable of committing to a single partner.

Bisexuals alternate genders in their relationships: A common misconception is that if a bisexual person ends a relationship with a man, their next sexual partner will be a woman -- and vice versa.

Bisexuals have the same problems as gays and lesbians: Not necessarily. Bisexuals who admit or act on their attraction to members of the same sex can become victims of gay bashing, being discriminated against in hiring, etc. But there are other factors to consider:

• A bisexual who keeps their attraction to the same sex a secret can pass in society as a heterosexual and not be at risk of homophobia.
• Bisexual individuals can be subjected to prejudice from the lesbian/gay community. But in recent years this prejudice is dissipating as more gay/lesbian groups have evolved to become gay/lesbian/bisexual groups.

Coping with bisexuality

Whatever your orientation, whatever team you’re playing for, there’s nothing wrong with being gay, straight or bi. But coming out isn’t an easy thing—what will the reactions of those we love and respect be and how will one be able to deal with the societal pressures—yet we associate it with homosexuality. How does one come out as a bisexual? When you are bisexual, pressure comes from all sides. It’s no wonder many bisexuals come out later in life. But it can often be more complicated, particularly when they are married with children.

You’d think that if there ever were a support group for bisexuals it be the homosexual community. However, besides “society” being ignorant to bisexuality, the homosexual community can be just as suspicious of bisexuality and guilty of bi-phobia. Besides straight people, there’s also misconception among gay people that bisexuals cannot commit to a particular sex, making having a relationship impossible. But there is no definitive or conclusive study that suggests that bisexual individuals cannot commit to a healthy, happy, monogamous relationship.

It’s important to be honest with yourself and your feelings. Although you may need time to really know what your true orientation is and willing to take the difficult step of coming out, it will be a huge relief to you once you’re able to admit your true feelings.

What’s the deal with the bi-pride flag?

We’ve seen the rainbow-colored flag that’s usually posted in front of bars, restaurants and nightclubs that let patrons know it’s a gay-friendly environment. But have you ever seen the bi-pride flag? Designed by Michael Page and unveiled on December 5, 1998, it’s the most recognizable symbol of bi pride. Before the bi-pride flag, there were no bisexual symbols that were colorful or prominent enough to gain instant and long-lasting recognition. The only bi symbols were bi angles – an inverted double triangle; the bi symbol – a three-looped symbol; and various shaped symbols created to represent local groups of bi people. Page realized that if bisexuals were going to be visible at home, pride events and political rallies, bisexuals needed their own bi-pride flag.

Bisexuals have in many ways helped foster the gay and lesbian movement since the Stonewall riots of 1969. But with all the progress made in the gay community, bisexuals still remain invisible. When the rainbow-colored flag was unveiled, it was meant to represent the diversity of the gay and lesbian community with each color having its own meaning. However, according to Page, many bisexuals he spoke with feel little or no connection to the rainbow flag or the number of other gay and lesbian symbols. Feeling that bisexuals needed their own flag and symbol to rally around, Page selected the colors and overlapping patterns of the bi-angle symbols. The colors and the meaning of each color are as follows:

• Pink, the top stripe, covering 40% of the flag, represents sexual attraction to the same sex only.
• Lavender (purple), the middle stripe covering 20% of the flag, represents sexual attraction to both sexes.
• Blue, the bottom stripe, which covers the remaining 40% of the flag, represents sexual attraction to the opposite sex only.

It’s interesting to note about the bi-pride flag is that the purple pixels of color blend unnoticeably into both the pink and blue, just as in the real world where most bi people blend unnoticeably into the gay, lesbian and straight communities. 

It’s unfortunate that people still discriminate based on a person’s skin color, religious beliefs and sexual orientation. But times have changed, people have changed and how people view and judge homosexuality has improved. But, I suspect, as a heterosexual male, there are still a lot of improvements that need to be made. Bisexuals should be given the same consideration. What a person does with a member of the same or opposite sex, or both, if that’s how they get their kicks, as long as they’re not hurting anyone, it’s their business. Who’s to say a bisexual person can’t be happy or find a loving relationship with someone and not find another person, male or female, attractive? Don’t heterosexuals and homosexuals have loving relationships and find other people attractive? Does it mean we’re going to act on those urges? Some of us do. Could there be something wrong with us, something that warrants bisexuals to be suspicious of our orientation? The answer is no. Whatever your orientation, whatever your lifestyle, how ever way you choose to live your life is all up to you.